Back in 2007 I was at my mom's house. She had just passed away a week or so before and I was there to start the process of pulling together all the last duties and obligations that the oldest son is supposed to handle. I was sorting through photos that I had found in her dining room hutch when the phone rang. I can't remember now whether the device was on the kitchen counter or the dining room table, but I was not in a position to grab it so I let it ring through, let it go to voice mail.
I got up a bit later, dazed as a person might be after going through years of photographic memory. I glanced at the phone and saw that the call that had come in had a Washington phone number. Not being familiar with the number I saw that the caller left a message. I dialed in the access code and put the phone to my ear. What came next was something that I never expected to hear again.
Your voice.
"Hello". That much I remember clearly. What came afterwards? That much I do my best to replay in my mind. I am sure that you didn't insert yourself more into the rest of the message but for certain you did say "wishing you on the 27th day of August". Did you say "I am calling to wish you well.." or "here's to wishing you well"? Do those nuances matter? I scrambled at that moment, once I heard your voice, to find you on the other end. I dialed and found out that the phone number was attached to the library in Bremerton, at the branch we once worked at together. The phone rang through and you were long gone.
It was the last time you ever left a message for me.
I may not have the exact words you said to me in any kind of correct manner, but I play the semblance of them in my head every year on the day. You, my old love, my Professora, my Empress of the Universe, are long gone but as for loving you? Well, no matter who comes through my life, no matter who else may color my world or fill up my heart, I will love you always. Be well, M.
Love, your WHMB
