The non-negotibles

M..do you remember the night we rode home on the ferry after that full day in the city? I know that you remember that day... it was such a great day out..Nutcrackers all around town, that eye opening behind the scenes library tour, a multitude of bookstores (remember that spiral staircase?), that grand lunch for two at the Cheesecake Factory, those two completely different cooking supply stores..the whole ball of wax. Going home was a different story..it was never our strong suit. We were sitting outside on the weather deck, all alone on the bench seat except for passing seagulls and starlight. It was too cold for most folks. We were hot with ideas, filled to the brim with that good time, and felt, with only minutes left to the day, that taking in the salty air would be best for our situation.

What was wonderful was that particular moment, my head in your lap, looking up at your face, when we made that sort-of pact. We were talking about our children, talking about meshing those two bundles of joy, and then came down to the nugget of our issues and future woes: those kids were non-negotiables. We knew right then and there that the kids were the true deal breakers. We could go forward or not, depending on whether or not those kids would be affected by any and all decision we would make.

I had no problem sharing my children with you. I knew right away that you would be a great mom to them as well. I knew your girls, could see no problem meshing them into my bunch. A bunch. A real Brady Bunch. Money would be tight, and housing much different than what we were living, but those big, fat moments of having our own personal baseball team around made it all seem worthwhile. Wouldn't be all the time. Easy to negotiate. Summers..okay. Holidays..who's house this year? All of that was tossed around and notations made and wishes stored away.

But, all the same, the kids...there was to be no negotiation there. They really were the focus. What was best for them mattered most. Your happiness took second place.

In the end, that's exactly what came down, didn't it, M? The kids? It wasn't God, it wasn't money, it wasn't your role and obligation to The Detective. It was your girls. All I can say is that I love you all the more for that. That one act made you more real than anything else you could have possibly done. Many a woman would have walked away for a whole lot less. You took the high ground, M. I may miss you but with one selfless move earned my eternal respect. As for you, well, you grabbed the highest rung of integrity you could ever possibly hope to grab.

What an incredible woman you are, M. Indeed, one of the finest women I'll ever I know.

Your WHMB