An unveiling of artifacts

The Tale of the Librarian's Fifth Wife is collection of moments, an assemblage of events, a bread basket of words, a swap meet of scraps left behind from a beautiful romance that will help clue you in to the real deal, to the life of two star crossed lovers that has already been lived and left behind. For the moment, anyway.


Our lives lie scattered over several states and a half a case worth of decades. It's not so much a want as a need to do this, to gather together the splinters and the shards of our times and share them here with you. Those bits and pieces of flotsam and jetsam found below in this winsome log are the bits and pieces of our times, a smattering of the trinkets of the love that Jane and I gathered up over the course of five long hard years. How they come to you now is in a story of sorts, a type of autobiographical fiction, with images cadged from places other than our satchel. Give it time, photos, sepia, wrinkled, pocket worn, are yet to come.


So, what else is there to do but get out that cobbled together blanket of dreams from the back of the car, spread it out under the branches of our favorite green and noble Oregon Maple tree that we both loved and share these words and tales of those long ago times with you. It was a wonderful time. Sit a spell, grab your spectacles and come ride along with us for awhile.

Love, Jane, the Professora and Roger, the Wild Half Mexican Boy



Thursday, April 1, 2010

The sacking of our spiritual blind side


I don't think we ever really got down to brass tacks as far as happiness was concerned. We talked about it, tried to define it, played it up and pushed it aside as far as a value in a strong relationship was concerned. We used it as a benchmark to define our times but found it to be too vague or etherial to really use a guidepost for making hardcore future decisions between us. After you left I assumed that happiness for you meant a house in The Woods, a big income, a solid religious community. I am not sure what constitutes happiness for me anymore as I am in a period of reconstruction and all values are being renegotiated. When I get down to defining what constitutes living happily I will let you know.

There are a number of studies out there that seem to have a better idea of what happiness is all about than I ever knew existed. I am happy to report that the tabulated and documented underlying ideals of happiness...good friends, solid relationships, sex, shared meals, trusted neighbors..are all things I treasure. Even without those reports out there to back me up I suppose I would have placed those things in a spiral notebook as part of my top ten happiness markers. I think, too, I would put down "fulfilling job", "nice place to live", "good health" as other markers. I don't think I would put down "a lot of cash". I don't think that being wealthy is as important as being comfortable, but then again I am living through a period of very little cash flow and a place a large amount of value on personal and emotional comfort.

So that was nine. I think about happiness and know that I was truly happy at one time. I was happy with my kids all around me, when I had the respect of my coworkers and underlings, when I was knocking about the town as a bon vivant with cash in my pocket, butg most importantly when I had you in my eye and you had me in yours. I suppose that that kind of happiness can compete with yours, with that solid unpinning that God has given you in your life. I know that I harp on that, that I sometimes play that card a bit too often, but it saved you and possibly saved a large dose of happiness in your family's life. Your girls are happier for your decision, and I imagine your parent's lives were made happier, too.

It's a funny thing, happiness. It's fleeting and temporary as you said, maybe not a real basis for a solid, functioning marriage, but I think of all the factors in life..fame, fortune, big this, expensive that...and know that I would rather be poor with a pot of beans on the stovetop, a camping trip at the beach for a vacation and have a drive-in movie date with a loving partner on my arm and my family at my side than anything else. We may have missed some sort of turnoff to a long life together, but I am still pretty certain that happiness, as I know it and want it, is still waiting out there for me.

Money isn't as important as respect, integrity and love. I know that I am happy in many ways and just need to remind myself every once in a while that I am living well. I wish you well, too, my old paramour. That and a boat load of happiness.

Your WHMB

NY Times opinion piece on happiness:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html?src=me&ref=homepage

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