I don't think we ever really got down to brass tacks as far as happiness was concerned. We talked about it, tried to define it, played it up and pushed it aside as far as a value in a strong relationship was concerned. We used it as a benchmark to define our times but found it to be too vague or etherial to really use a guidepost for making hardcore future decisions between us. After you left I assumed that happiness for you meant a house in The Woods, a big income, a solid religious community. I am not sure what constitutes happiness for me anymore as I am in a period of reconstruction and all values are being renegotiated. When I get down to defining what constitutes living happily I will let you know.
There are a number of studies out there that seem to have a better idea of what happiness is all about than I ever knew existed. I am happy to report that the tabulated and documented underlying ideals of happiness...good friends, solid relationships, sex, shared meals, trusted neighbors..are all things I treasure. Even without those reports out there to back me up I suppose I would have placed those things in a spiral notebook as part of my top ten happiness markers. I think, too, I would put down "fulfilling job", "nice place to live", "good health" as other markers. I don't think I would put down "a lot of cash". I don't think that being wealthy is as important as being comfortable, but then again I am living through a period of very little cash flow and a place a large amount of value on personal and emotional comfort.
So that was nine. I think about happiness and know that I was truly happy at one time. I was happy with my kids all around me, when I had the respect of my coworkers and underlings, when I was knocking about the town as a bon vivant with cash in my pocket, butg most importantly when I had you in my eye and you had me in yours. I suppose that that kind of happiness can compete with yours, with that solid unpinning that God has given you in your life. I know that I harp on that, that I sometimes play that card a bit too often, but it saved you and possibly saved a large dose of happiness in your family's life. Your girls are happier for your decision, and I imagine your parent's lives were made happier, too.
It's a funny thing, happiness. It's fleeting and temporary as you said, maybe not a real basis for a solid, functioning marriage, but I think of all the factors in life..fame, fortune, big this, expensive that...and know that I would rather be poor with a pot of beans on the stovetop, a camping trip at the beach for a vacation and have a drive-in movie date with a loving partner on my arm and my family at my side than anything else. We may have missed some sort of turnoff to a long life together, but I am still pretty certain that happiness, as I know it and want it, is still waiting out there for me.
Money isn't as important as respect, integrity and love. I know that I am happy in many ways and just need to remind myself every once in a while that I am living well. I wish you well, too, my old paramour. That and a boat load of happiness.
Your WHMB
NY Times opinion piece on happiness:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html?src=me&ref=homepage
There are a number of studies out there that seem to have a better idea of what happiness is all about than I ever knew existed. I am happy to report that the tabulated and documented underlying ideals of happiness...good friends, solid relationships, sex, shared meals, trusted neighbors..are all things I treasure. Even without those reports out there to back me up I suppose I would have placed those things in a spiral notebook as part of my top ten happiness markers. I think, too, I would put down "fulfilling job", "nice place to live", "good health" as other markers. I don't think I would put down "a lot of cash". I don't think that being wealthy is as important as being comfortable, but then again I am living through a period of very little cash flow and a place a large amount of value on personal and emotional comfort.
So that was nine. I think about happiness and know that I was truly happy at one time. I was happy with my kids all around me, when I had the respect of my coworkers and underlings, when I was knocking about the town as a bon vivant with cash in my pocket, butg most importantly when I had you in my eye and you had me in yours. I suppose that that kind of happiness can compete with yours, with that solid unpinning that God has given you in your life. I know that I harp on that, that I sometimes play that card a bit too often, but it saved you and possibly saved a large dose of happiness in your family's life. Your girls are happier for your decision, and I imagine your parent's lives were made happier, too.
It's a funny thing, happiness. It's fleeting and temporary as you said, maybe not a real basis for a solid, functioning marriage, but I think of all the factors in life..fame, fortune, big this, expensive that...and know that I would rather be poor with a pot of beans on the stovetop, a camping trip at the beach for a vacation and have a drive-in movie date with a loving partner on my arm and my family at my side than anything else. We may have missed some sort of turnoff to a long life together, but I am still pretty certain that happiness, as I know it and want it, is still waiting out there for me.
Money isn't as important as respect, integrity and love. I know that I am happy in many ways and just need to remind myself every once in a while that I am living well. I wish you well, too, my old paramour. That and a boat load of happiness.
Your WHMB
NY Times opinion piece on happiness:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/30/opinion/30brooks.html?src=me&ref=homepage
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