Empty chair, All Staff Day, Bremerton, '05

For the first time in seven years I'm not heading across the water on Columbus Day to hang out with my fellow co-workers. For some it's a holiday, and because of that it feels a bit quieter on the streets today, but then again, I haven't been up to the courthouse yet. My friend The Hot Dog King says that all county services will be open up there as usual, so not everybody has the day off. And while it wasn't a day off for county library workers I still miss the annual dose of comraderie, the bountiful food, the touting of the United Way baskets. It was always a time to celebrate what the job was really all about, and that was the effort that the STAFF put forth to make the system a smooth running organization in the eyes of the patrons. It wasn't called All Administration Day for a reason.

My first year with the organization we held the event at the Navy museum. Jane purposely ran into me in the hallways of the museum that first year she was on board just to tout herself. Somehow she hadn't gotten a call yet from the main branch for work yet and wanted to be sure that I had her number. Not in any way other than to be sure that she was on the list and that the list was up to date. I was the sub supe, you know, and that kind of information was important to know. Taking care of the work needs of the subs was, too. That was a somewhat thankless job as far as support from the system was concerned. I got grief from branch heads when the list was late or not cranked out regularly. I had a supervisor a couple notches above me that kept that group down somewhat, too. During the time I ran that pack of heroes we only gathered together as group once. Pity. It was an exciting time and great group of people and they were excited about working for the system, too.

Somewhat like Jane was that day she ran into me at the Submarine museum. We were all in costume that day, division by division. My crew as dressed up in their Mexican finery, all sporting sombreros I found around the region for the day. She was part of the PO Black Widow gang and had her black veil on. We hit it off all over again. I hadn't seen her since that day I interviewed her and it was just as pleasant to see her and to chat the second time around.

So, fast forward a couple years. She worked regularly for the system but kept hours that worked best for her homeschooling and summer trips, all that. We bagged hours for her as often as we could and it was always a treat to see her. She always brought smiles and worked hard and made us laugh. She and I always talked kids and Colorado and books. There was always something to talk about. But by the time we got to that one particular day, Columbus Day in '05, we had already embarked on the grand and awe inspiring voyage that would scar us both for life. But that day we didn't care a bit about scarring. We were still high from Gala and quietly giddy from pulling together baskets for the United Way. We bounced off each other all day long but for the sake of the system and our integrity we kept that sparkiness we shared under a bushel, or rather, United Way basket.

I can still remember lunch, she was three seats and across the table removed. But more telling was afterwards, when we sat through the first speaker of the afternoon. She was sitting across the way, at a different table, with an empty seat next to her. It would have been all to easy to slip across the aisle, sit alongside her, but you see, even though we felt that the world knew that we were on fire, we kept that flame down and close to our sides. Never mind we put that flame to the test out and about in the rain during the poker walk, never mind I can still see her looking up at me when the photos were taken. I have a copy of that photo, of Jane grasping her hands just so, looking up at me as the flash went off.

I will forever think of Columbus Day as some sort of Holiday of the Universe, some sort of national holiday of the heart. I think of how she quailed at the thought of group recognition for her part in pulling together those baskets with me, of helping me pull together the envelopes for United Way that sat on all the tables. I think of how we took different modes of transportation coming and going to the event, how we bounced off each other throughout the day like soft and permeable rocks from a faraway and mysterious asteroid belt, but more, I think of how, by the end of that rainy and cold afternoon, she was curled up in my loveseat with a book and blanket, taking in a moment of quiet and peace before heading off to home.

I think of this day, one where staff gathers and shares their joy, and think of how much it meant to me over the years. The years following that one particular day were always filled with disappointment, as Jane never returned to celebrate with the rest of staff on Columbus Day. Childcare, she told her supervisor. More than that, I know. From 2006 on it would always mean an empty seat across the way from me, no matter if it was filled or not.

Happy ASD, you wild and wacky bunch. Distant hallo's from both Jane and Roger.

Your WHMB