Glory days

"Back in the day..." could be the mantra of this blog. It's a new life and these words are a reflection of both the new and the old, life as it stands and of a life that was once lived.

I walk alot these days, not only for my health but also to get the groceries home. But by the time I'd set down my bags for the fifth time this afternoon on my way back home from the market I knew in my heart of hearts that I'd undertaken a journey that only I could take. I really couldn't see you doing what I've been doing and that's okay, I'm good with that. We're both onto other things.

Whenever I think of our times I think of all those folks out there who have already lived their one big glorious moment..the kid who caught the winning pass, the gal whose athletic prowess took the track team to state, the salesman who pulled off the big sale and saved the company, the woman who's green thumb awarded her the blue ribbon at fair..and then spend the rest of their lives basking in that fifteen minutes worth of fame. Some people are happy with that, but others, well, that grand moment is a trophy to put on the shelf along with all the other great moments in life. "No laurels, please, I still have too much life to live".

As I walked home with those fifty pounds of groceries hanging off my arms I knew that I had arrived at that place for a reason. It was more of a determination than a life lesson. I needed to hump those groceries home by myself today. For the time being I need to be without a car. Over the course of the next year I need to see my refinance through, development new friendships and restore old ones, be on my own for awhile. I need many things, but none of those things are material goods. In fact I know that I need to unload stuff this summer and that event will happen along very soon.

As I walked home I began composing this piece to you in my head. After I weighed and put away my goods I made a 4 quart container of homemade ice cream, pulled together some fresh bbq sauce and marinaded the rack of beef ribs I picked up yesterday at Farmer George's, marinated some vegetables for a macaroni salad and finished up my kitchen duties by washing the dishes and sweeping the floor. After I'm done here with this I plan on going outside to plant some tubers, rake a bit, trim a bit. But this moment here was important, a letter to you to lead the rest of those little posts that are coming up.

I received a couple emails today, one from an old family friend and one from the Estranged One. The Boy and I had dinner over at my friend's house last night. For her, after such an incredibly long year, the visit proved to be a pretty therapuetic one. So much laughter, so much food, so much joy! As for the Estranged One, well, her letter was to let me know that the refinance was almost done. What's funny is that she said she undertook that particular journey not for her financal gain but for my sake, to pay off old bills, to help me keep the house. Life is funny. Two people that I have been estranged from for months now both reached out to me, to let me know that they cared.

Life is good and yet I know that there is no time to rest on my laurels. Every time I think I have it good I think of all those guys and gals and their glory days and know that happiness and joy are fleeting. The following posts are a reflection of our times, of our glory days, of my feelings for you and how I wish things could have been. Sometimes they are a wish for things that still could possibly be, but then again, see, I am a storyteller and when it's necessary, like for the sake of the story or my audience or my children, I'll believe in things like fairies, gnomes and the little gods, those entities that help make our life and our world complete. I may not have won the hundred yard dash, pulled off the low bid contract or picked up a blue ribbon for my prized dahlia, but darlin', I loved you and you loved me and if that is the basis of my glory days, well then, so be it.

Read on and know that I have expected all along for you to find this blog one day. I figured that one day you would stumble upon it or someone would point it out to you. All it takes is a name search in Google and there you are. You and me, well, we didn't waste time or squander love, M. We took our stolen season and lived every minute of it. We were true grand prize winners. Yet, like that Lyle Lovett song goes, there was a time that you loved me, and there was a time that you loved me no more. Long ago, on that rainy November afternoon when you returned all those poems and letters to me, one of the options you stressed in that note that I shredded and returned to you was that I had permission to print those words in that purple folder. In a way, through this blog, I suppose I have.

No hurt was intended so no bad feelings, please, only joy. This blog is meant to be a very public celebration of our high water mark. Yes, this is meant to be a victory celebration, one packed to the rafters with joy. There was a lot of that between us "back in the day".

Viya con Dios, mi vida. Tu quiero siempre. Your Wild Half Mexican Boy